Lyrically Incorrect

Serious Lyrics

This morning I was driving to a meeting when I had a major revelation. I was rocking out to some serious tunage when a repetitive, overplayed song by Taio Cruz came on. "I'm only gonna break, break, break, break, your he-art. I'm only gonna break, break, break, break, your he-art... If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please, I might tear you apart, told you from the start...." he sang as I dodged a blinker-less Mazda on the highway. There may even be another "break, break" in there somewhere, but just in case I missed one, hopefully you know what song I'm talking about.

At some point early to mid song, I changed the station and ironically Kelly Clarkson came on. "Since you've been gone....How come I never hear you say, I just wanna be with you? I guess you never felt that way...."

So here was Taio Cruz warning all the girls, not to fall for him, because he will just tear them apart. After all, he told them from the start. Say whaaat? And then Kelly is yelling through the speakers how she can "finally breathe for the first time" and asking why "he" whoever "he" is, never says "I just wanna be with you."

It Gets Worse....And The Curse Plays Out


In light of my recent post "Barefoot and Pregnant" how do you think this exact example corresponds? I was surprised to see such a clear illustration of "Your desire shall be for your husband..." (Genesis 3:16). So where does that leave us as women? Certainly not all brokenhearted?

There are many songs out there that are degrading of women, some that you may even sing along with. Another example is the song "Get low" by Lil Jon. It says that women should "crawl" and "give me back my doe, go get ya friend...stupid b---- standing there....". Some of the lyrics to this song are so vulgar and degrading that I am unwilling to post them on here.

I am not a prude. Don't get me wrong, I like to "get low" myself when I am dancing, and I like to have fun with the best of them. However, unless women refuse to subject ourselves to this sort of cycle, perhaps things will never change. We will always fight it, until all of us make a stand.

You and I

It wasn't until I caught myself literally singing along with this guy who was warning all the girls, that he would break all their hearts and tear them apart, that I had this profound revelation. I'm not saying that either Lil Jon or Tiao Cruz as artists are good or bad, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I only want to bring this up in order to provoke you to think. Think hard about what you are feeding your feminine spirit on a daily basis.

Does this mean that you or I will never listen to a song that is blatantly degrading of women again? Unfortunately probably not. But I can tell you that I definitely don't want to rush out and promote this kind of stuff by buying a CD or downloading it on my I-Pod.

You and I probably don't have the buying power to put degrading artists out of business but....Perhaps out of a small step in the direction of self-love and self-respect, you might find yourself changing the station from time-to-time.

I would love to know your thoughts on this. Please feel free to post comments.

Happy Valentine's Day To Yourself

You Must First Love You


In light of Valentine's Day, I wanted to write about love.  "Love is a many splendid thing..." "Love lifts us up where we belong..." "All you need is love..."  


It is not really possible to give or receive love fully, until you learn to love yourself first. You may have heard this before, but it is really true. Whether you are spending Valentine's Day this year with someone you love, friends, or yourself, I hope you take a second to love yourself. 

"We spend so much of our time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. You will draw to you exactly what you create in life, and what you believe you are worthy of. So loving yourself can create love in your life. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill your void and fantasy's, then you will feel worse than before." -wikiHow.com

We must first learn to love ourselves before we can truly feel fulfilled. So, while you are telling all of the other people in your life how important they are today and showing how much you love them, don't leave out one very important person, yourself.  

This was the first Valentine's Day in a long time that I was alone.  My husband was traveling so I ended up ordering Outback takeout and watching The Bachelor. What did you do this Valentine's Day? Feel free to post comments.

Are you S.A.D.?

What is SAD Anyway?


You may have heard of this disorder, and didn't think much of it. It affects between 4-6 % of the US population in a severe way. Many others are affected with more mild cases, and three quarters of SAD sufferers are women. It is most likely to affect women in their 20's, 30's, and 40"s.

"Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter, or, less frequently, in the summer, spring or autumn, repeatedly, year after year. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), SAD is not a unique mood disorder, but is "a specifier of major depression".


"The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up." The condition in the summer is often referred to as reverse seasonal affective disorder, and can also include heightened anxiety."  -Wikipedia

Common Symptoms

Symptoms of winter SAD include:

• Fatigue
• Increased need for sleep
• Decreased levels of energy
• Weight gain
• Increase in appetite
• Difficulty concentrating
• Increased desire to be alone

Symptoms of summer SAD include:

• Weight loss
• Trouble sleeping
• Decreased appetite

I'm SAD...

What Can I Do About IT?

There are several different treatments for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder, including light therapy with bright lights or sunlight, ionized-air administration, anti-depressant medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy,  and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin. 

Though some of these treatments are proven to be effective, they can also be expensive and if possible should be used as a last resort. If you think you might be affected by SAD, perhaps you should try sitting on your back porch for 15 minutes a day or going for a little walk. Vitamin D which naturally comes from milk products and sunlight is essential to our bodies. Do what you can, even in the dreary winter months to soak up a few minutes of healing rays.

What is really going in in Egypt?

What's Really Going On:

Here is a quote from an article; Huffington Post, in NY

"After days of protest, Egypt's civil unrest came to a head today, with protestors defying curfews as the nation's military entered the streets. If you're new to the story, here's what's going on.

Protests started on Tuesday, January 25, when -- inspired by the successful revolution in Tunisia --thousands of people began taking to the streets to protest poverty, rampant unemployment, government corruption and autocratic governance of President Hosni Mubarak, who has ruled the country for thirty years. These were the first protests on such a large scale to be seen in Egypt since the 1970s. The government responded byblocking Twitter, which was being used by organizers to coordinate protests.

Blocking Twitter not only enraged Egyptian citizens; it also brought increased national attention to the uprising. Over the course of the next two days, Egypt proceeded to block Facebook while the much-hated riot police took to the streets, arresting and injuring hundreds with batons, tear gas water cannons. Protests occurred not only in Cairo, the capital, but also in Alexandria and Suez, two other major cities....

Additionally, the Muslim Brotherhood, long a fierce opponent of the Mubarak regime and officially banned in Egypt, threw their weight behind the protestors, many of whom are young, tech-savvy Egyptians, reports the New York Times. Two-thirds of Egypt's population has never known a leader other than Mubarak....

The largest protests were planned for Friday, at which point the government took the unprecedented step of blocking all Internet services in the country. With Twitter and Facebook already down, email other social networking outlets fell as well. Text messaging was also blocked. Protestors and journalists began finding alternate means of getting online and pushing out information..." - The Huffington Post, NY

To read more click original link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/28/whats-going-on-in-egypt_n_815734.html 

Women In Egypt

Here is a great article concerning women specifically in the Egygptian Protests:

http://www.pri.org/politics-society/women-in-the-egyptian-protests2614.html

"Women make up more than half of Egypt's university students. They are visible in the media and on the street; many work. But women rarely get the top posts in government or business. A woman's highest ambition is still expected to be to establish a family." 

- PRI Public Radio International

The Super Bowl Secret/Local Sex Offenders

Local News: 


Raleigh, NC Sex Offenders at Homeless Shelter

"Raleigh, NC - A downtown Raleigh Homeless Shelter is registered as the home of 40 sex offenders (including convicted rapists), but those sex offenders are not staying there every night." - NBC 17 News

To see the article and watch the video click: http://www2.nbc17.com/news/2011/feb/10/raleigh-homeless-shelter-registered-home-40-sex-of-ar-773159/ 

It is good to be informed. Here is a link where you can enter in your zip code to find sex offenders in your area. http://www.familywatchdog.us/ 

National News: 


The Super Bowl Secret

While most of us were having fun last weekend chowing down on chili, chips and dip, something else was going on that you should know about.

It is easy to think that human sex trafficking is mostly a problem somewhere overseas. It is a proven fact that American businessmen are the majority of clientele for human trafficking worldwide. It is also a known fact that human sex trafficking statistics skyrocket during the Super Bowl each year. Although exact statistics are not available, it is estimated that tens of thousands of people (mostly under-aged girls) are commercially sexually exploited in Super Bowl host cities right here in the U.S.

To read articles about the trafficking and the Super Bowl......

Click on a current 2011 link from USA Today:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2011-01-31-child-prostitution-super-bowl_N.htm

Click on a current 2011 link from Newsweek:
http://www.newsweek.com/2011/01/30/the-super-bowl-of-sex-trafficking.html#


"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Is. 61:2

Walk Like a Lady, Write Like a Man

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Aretha Franklin said it best, "R.E.S.P.E.C.T....Find out what it means to me."  What does it mean to you? Or better yet, what does it mean, to not be respected as a woman?

To put it bluntly, most women suck at speaking up for themselves. Whether you are too timid or too bold, there is a fine line when it comes to commanding respect. Most of us fall into one of these two categories: we either don't stand up for ourselves enough and resent ourselves later for it, or we make a fool of ourselves trying to demand respect and regret it later.

Once you feel you have been disrespected, you have to ask yourself: is it better to say nothing at all, or take the risk and defend yourself. As with any risk, there can and will be consequences. Whether the outcome will be negative or positive depends ultimately on  your approach to the situation.

Softly Playing Hard Ball:

By no means have I mastered this art. In fact, coming from a family with very strong men, (and women, for that matter), I have had to learn and am still learning the right way, the hard way. I write out of experience, probably more of what not to do, in hopes of helping you achieve the best results of standing up for yourself in a situation where there has been a disregard for your person-hood.

If you don't say anything at all, you risk the chance that you will not be respected in the future. If you say it in an overbearingly way (out of emotion), you risk not being respected in the future. When it comes to dealing with men, the key is to stand up for yourself in a firm but feminine way. Why firm? Because you want to get your point across. Why feminine? Because you are not a man, and therefore are not expected to be a man. That's right. You are not expected to be a man, but when dealing with men in communication, you will achieve far better results if you can learn how to communicate on their terms. That is why, if you can retain your femininity while not being overly emotional, what you have to say will be received well.

Business with the Big Boys: 

So why should we have to conform? I remember when my boss called me into his office and said that he had a suggestion for my email writings. I was ready for him to point out some grammatical or spelling error. Instead, he said, "Tiffany, you need to learn how to write like a man." "Write like a man???" I asked. I could feel my blood pressure rising. Then he pointed out where I said in my email, "I am happy to set up the meeting for the three of us." I was referring to a three-way conference call with a couple of big clients. He said, "Not I would be happy to. I plan to.... I plan to set up the meeting." I left the meeting furious. It wasn't fair that I was being corrected for something as stupid as this. What was my work performance based on anyway? Apparently it mattered more that I communicate like a man, than if I misspelled a word, or put a semicolon in the wrong place. Why should I be expected to wear a skirt, and walk like a lady, yet write like a man?

It was in that moment it dawned on me, just how much we really do live in a man's world. I saw for probably the first time that I could not change every single man out there, I could only change myself. Unless he worked for a marketing company and was working on a Dove advertising campaign, a man would simply never be asked to "write more like a woman." So plain and simple, this is the dilemma we are up against. Though I walked away resenting him for it, unfortunately my boss was right. If we are to get ahead in the business world, women must learn to write, and speak like men.

So there you have it. Over-emotionalize, and risk being tuned-out completely. Over-authorize and risk being called a Femi-natzi. Especially in the work place. Good luck Ladies!

Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of thing? Please post your thoughts.

Barefoot and Pregnant

Vulnerability Through Childbearing

I find it interesting that women by default are considered the more vulnerable gender. You might disagree with me on this one, but I believe that though there are several reasons for this, it all starts with the fact that we are the ones who are able to bear children. Women are the only ones who are able to be "knocked up" and are therefore more vulnerable. Let's face it. When a man and a woman have relations, the man basically has a choice whether he wants to be involved in the baby's life or not because he is not physically attached to the fetus. The woman however, doesn't have that choice because she has now transformed from one being into two.

I realize this would be the perfect time to talk about it, but right now, I don't want to discuss the abortion/adoption issue. This posting is about something else....

Why Eve, did you just have to eat that darn apple? 

I have asked myself a time or two why Eve did it. After all, isn't this is where gender issues really started? "To the woman He (God) said, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."" (Genesis 3:16)

There is a lot packed into this one little verse. We could pick it apart piece by piece but instead I want to focus on one part, "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you". Perhaps we could generalize it and say that women will always be the ones on the reciprocating end of the relationship, "waiting with desire" as opposed to the male aggressors. We could also look at this from the angle of which men will always be physically stronger, or that women will always be the more needy, vulnerable sex. Again, some of you may disagree with me as there are always exceptions, but though we may not always like it, in general the curse plays out.

"Barefoot and Pregnant"

Those who are closest to me know that my relationship with my father is much better these days than it once was. After six back surgeries, thousands of dollars later, and years of not being able to physically provide for our family, my father became a very angry man when I was young. One time when I was late for school, and out of rage over a boyfriend I had, my father said to me, "One day you are going to end up barefoot and pregnant with some guy from the sticks of Oklahoma! What kind of life will you have then?" I wasn't even sexually active with the boy. My dad just didn't like him. Perhaps he said this because there is a part of him that has always resented where he himself came from. With tears in his eyes my dad would tell us stories of how their family moved out west and kids would tease him and call him the "country coody-boy." I know now, that though the approach was wrong in every way possible, my dad just wanted the best for me. He wanted me to grow up, go to college, have a successful life, and marry a successful man. My dad has since apologized for the harshness while I was growing up and thankfully our relationship has come miles.

I wanted to share this personal story about myself and my father for a reason. One, it gives you some insight to what I experienced as a young girl, and two it brings me to my main point. For my teenage years, I lived with the secret fear that I would become this "barefoot and pregnant" type of girl, and it played a huge part in developing or under-developing my self-esteem. It seems this is a constant issue that young girls are up against around the globe. Though it may be a long time since you were a teenager, I know I am not the only female who at one point feared this exact same thing and for some it has become a reality. I know a few girls in fact, who got pregnant in high school and in the end chose to have the baby. These are some of the bravest women I know.

Are Women Really the Weaker Sex?

On that note....To bring life into this world is not only a miracle. It is a true gift that only women will naturally have the reward of experiencing. I find it interesting that our greatest gift as women can also be what makes us most vulnerable.  Our sexuality and the ability to have children is often an area of conflict in life and something that lends itself to some of our deepest fears. This is undeniably the case with rape. Again, our greatest strength (ability to have children) can lead to a dramatically life-changing outcome, which results in women being the more vulnerable sex.

While we may be the more vulnerable, are women truly the weaker sex? Some would argue that we are. Other people will defend that we are not. I don't have the answer to this, nor do I believe it is really relevant. What is relevant, is the fact that, until men are miraculously able to carry a child in their womb for 9 months, inevitably most of the world does see, and will always see women as the weaker sex.

Some would say, as women, it is out of our vulnerability that we are weaker. Others would argue that it is out of our vulnerability therein-lies our unique power. More on this later....

Vulnerability of women - the fall - Eve, childbearing, pregnancy

Modern Day Prisioners

The Outrageous Girl in the Shop

I was in a North Raleigh restaurant, the kind with the store connected.  "Hello. Help you?" She asked. "Yes, I was just wondering where the baklava is." I replied. "Oh Yes! Over here." The young dark Middle-Eastern woman led me to a semi-dusty shelf filled with boxes with sweet pistachio and honey goodness. "Your hair is beautiful." I said, noticing her silky black mane. She was the only female working  in the shop without a burqa on. "So, I have to ask....why? Why aren't you wearing a burqa?" I whispered. She peered deeply at me with her black shy eyes, and finally her perched mouth cracked a half grin. Then in her broken English, the young clerk explained to me it was because she didn't want to. "You mean, you just don't want to, so you don't have to? So, you mean you never wear one?" I asked. I was way too outgoing for this quiet little place. She laughed, "No, no. I wear outside. Just not here." "Wow!" I whispered loudly, "Good for you! Your hair is too beautiful to be hidden anyway." I walked out the door thanking her for the help. It was then I realized that though I did not know her at all, I knew I had met a woman I had deep respect for. She was one of the most quiet people I had ever met, yet she was one of the most outrageous.

What was she risking? What did her husband think? How come she was somehow not required to hide most of herself and the other women in the store were? What if all Muslim women banished burqas? A part of me wishes I could wave my magic wand and make them all disappear. Seriously, what would happen if all the Muslim women in the world were to banish the wearing of burqas? There would probably be an uproar.

Surprisingly, not all women hate wearing them, like the girl in the shop.  Due to traditional customs and religious beliefs, most Muslim women seem to not mind them. When I was in Malaysia, I asked a few of the girls with head coverings about it, and they seemed to think it wasn't an option to not wear them. It just simply wasn't an option, so they don't think about it. That is the problem I have with burqas. It is not about the religion or the tradition. It is the control. The lack of options and the lack of an ability for these women to be free to think for themselves.

Malaysian Insight

Some of the girls and women in Malaysia told me that they wear really trendy clothing underneath. They wear beautiful lingerie and all the latest fashions. They paint their nails and invest in the best clothing, but it is only for their husbands. They told me how they only need to be beautiful for him, and at home they can show their face, hair, and clothing. These women also told me that it does get really hot under there, especially for the extreme traditionalists who wear all black in 100 plus degree weather. But even with the heat, and the constrained nature of burqas, those women seemed to brush my question off. When I asked them if they ever wanted to not wear their burqas, it was as if I were asking if all the grass in the world could magically turn blue. It seemed completely ridiculous to them and simply not fathomable. After all, it has been ingrained into these women from such a young age, and all their friends are doing it.

Clothing or Identity?

It is as if the burqa is a part of them and they have accepted it as a part of who they are. Which brings me to another question. Is a burqa then, something that is just worn, or is it truly a part of their identity as women? Or is there any identity at all, in terms of differentiation, when you cannot tell one's beautiful face from the next? Oh, if I could wave my magic wand and change the grass to blue....

Current Events: A Matter Of Law

In September 2010, the wearing of burqas was officially outlawed in France.

Here is a link to an article from CNN World:
http://articles.cnn.com/2010-09-14/world/france.burqa.ban_1_burqa-overt-religious-symbols-ban-last-year?_s=PM:WORLD

"He has sent me...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Is. 61:3

Male Bashing - The Wrong Approach

To Be or Not to Be......a Feminist:

It is 2011. Most of the world would still consider myself, or any woman for that matter who is willing to write about women's issues, a "feminist" or a least call them a "strong woman". Do I consider myself a feminist? Perhaps....perhaps not. Well, not in the way that so many "feminists" are viewed in this day and age. Am I a "strong woman"? I would say so, if you consider strength to be standing up for the respect of women and raising awareness for women's issues. A "strong woman" to me, is anything but going along with the flow of what mainstream society confines women to be like and or look like.

A good number of Christian churches today would consider most vocal women to be "feminists". And quite a few, not all churches, would argue that "feminists" in general are usually disrespectful to men. Some traditional churches would even go as far as to say that women are "out of place" when they share their strong opinions regarding certain issues. Like Christianity, there are many other religions in the world that believe these things to be true as well. So where do we draw the line?


Whether the church is right or wrong, is not my point. It is unfortunate that most of the time women take the wrong approach to expressing themselves and their voice. Is it possible to voice a strong female opinion without loosing our femininity or even crossing over into degrading the male gender? What really is "our place" in church or in the world for that matter?  I have a lot to say about this topic, and will elaborate more on the church and women in another post.

The WRONG Approach:

While I may be vocal and passionate about global issues for women, it is important for you to know that I have an ultimate respect for men. Does this mean that I have always, in every situation "shown" respect for each man when I have felt disrespected by them in return? I wish I could say this was the case. I have learned, unfortunately in the past sometimes the hard way, and am still learning how to stand up for myself and other women in the right way.

It is never okay for women to undermine men in order to uplift women. The same goes for men who put down women in order to feel more powerful. This is exactly what we are talking about, however this blog is addressed to women. After all, in the end, we can only ever change ourselves. I will say it again. By no means should women undermine men in order to uplift women. It is sad that so many feminists "shoot themselves in the foot" by bashing men in attempts to establish respect for themselves. In the end, all feminists truly just want to have a respected voice, while sometimes they themselves tear down the male gender. Granted, I honestly can't think of a time that I have taken that extreme of an approach, I have been guilty of returning an attitude of disrespect for not being respected as a woman.

The RIGHT Approach:

Be strong ladies, but for Heaven's sake, do it with class. As I previously stated, it is important for women to stand up for themselves while showing men the honor and respect that they deserve as any human being deserves. This is especially difficult to do in the heat of the moment when you feel you are being undervalued, or degraded as women. We must remember that in order to get the results we want we must take the right approach. It is never right to return wrong for wrong.


What is the right approach? How do we practically live this out on a day-to-day basis? It is the same whether we are addressing our husbands, bosses, co-workers, fathers, brothers, and yes, even the man that walks by and yells out "Hey! Hot Mama!" Okay, so maybe there is a bit of a difference between our husbands and our brothers and certainly between our bosses and the man on the street, at least I hope so. The point here is that they all have one thing in common. They are all men.  All of them listen with male ears and think with male minds, so we must approach accordingly. If we can learn to address it in a way that they understand, we will be heard. I will post more on this later.

Issues, Not Rights:

In this blog I want to discuss issues that women come up against in everyday life. Notice I never say "women's rights" but rather address "women's issues". This is because I want to include so much more than just the "rights" of women. What are "rights" anyway? I believe every human being overall has the same rights, such as the right to be respected. This blog is more about controversial issues that are specific to girls/women, than about our "rights".

"Strong Men"

Men will never truly understand what it is like to be a woman. Likewise, we will never know what it is like to be a man. It is important for all of us to respect gender differences and understand them, in order to work with those differences. While I may not always agree with them on everything, I have an ultimate respect for the men in my life, and for men in general for that matter. I have the highest regards for men who are sensitive and understanding of what women often have to face in this world. In terms of strength, I think the strongest men are those who are not threatened by "strong women" but are rather secure in who they are as a man.

My husband is undoubtedly one of these types of "strong men", and I am deeply thankful that he provides a stable foundation and protective covering for me to be a "voice for the voiceless" and discuss women's issues. Not only does my husband support me and this blog, but he provides necessary insight and is a great resource to my writings.


"He created them male and female and he blessed them." Gen. 5:2

The Real Purpose for This Blog

The Beginning

Is it possible to have a modern day blog that raises awareness about current women's issues here in the US and around the globe, while still respecting men? The answer is yes! And that is what I set out to do. I may not be the best author of all time, but I am very passionate about women's issues around the world and feel the need to do something about it. So I will write....

I have been to 11 different countries, and have been blessed to experience working with women from very different cultures. I have worked with orphans, and former prostitutes in third world nations such as Cambodia and Malaysia. I have also attended elite Paris couture fashion shows sitting next to the wealthiest women in the world. I have found that with each of these extremes, one thing remains... despite wealth, race, or disposition in life, women all experience the same emotions of pain and joy, happiness and suffering. All of us need to know our worth and value. All of us need love.

Taking It in a Different Direction

I started this blog as a fashion blog and am deciding to take it in another direction. Okay, so I can't promise I won't ever write about shoes, but I am going focus on writing about what I am MOST passionate about, women's life issues. I will post on topics such as: body image, plastic surgery, marriage, race, religion, abortion, adoption, women in politics, and even motherhood (though I am not a mother...yet). I want to raise awareness for controversial issues such as: finding your voice in an "man's world", and deep global issues like: sex trafficking, the wearing of burkas, female circumcision, and poverty.

This is not a religious blog. It is a blog about women's issues.  I do believe however, the Bible is absolute truth, so my posts will be based from that standpoint. That being said, in my own life I have been forced to dig for much deeper answers than some of the traditional religious answers of today, and will share in a way that forces you to think for yourself, and dig for your own answers as well. Let's face it. We need real tangible solutions for the problems we face today. Most Christians would say, "Jesus is the answer for everything". While I agree with that statement wholeheartedly, I ask, "What exactly does that look like, for Jesus to be the answer?" How do you realistically tell that to the woman in Africa dying of AIDS holding her starving baby?

This blog is not for the faint of heart. This blog is not for the North Raleigh women who want to stay in their perfect little Crabtree Valley Mall/Brier Creek bubble, and not be bothered to know what is going on in the world around them. Some of the issues I want to talk about are very controversial, so please keep in mind that if you disagree with me on any of these postings, on any level, I truly respect your opinion and I welcome you to not read my blog.

I also understand that by openly posting my opinions I risk losing friends of differing opinions and values. Though it would grieve me to know that I have lost any friends, I also know that I must fulfill my ultimate calling, being a "voice for the voiceless" and standing up for what I believe to be truth. Life is short and I want to make an impact on this earth while I am here. There is too much inside of me that I must get out in hopes of bettering the lives of women.....

Ultimate Purpose

By inviting you to read my writings, I hope you will join me on this journey of discovering current events and global issues of women in 2011.  It is a journey all of us are currently living and all of us are a part of it in some form or another.

While I ultimately respect your opinions and thoughts as women, I am not writing to gain popularity. My ultimate purpose for this blog is to speak truth and by doing so, I hope you are inspired, challenged, enlightened, and encouraged in who you are as women. I hope that each of you realize the impact you can make in your own sphere of influence, be it large or small. If just one of you is encouraged by this blog, then it is worth it.Whether you are a sister, mother, friend, wife, girlfriend, daughter, lover, homemaker, business woman, or student, I pray that you are impacted and challenged to really think for yourself (as I have been) about what you believe so that you can make a difference in the lives around you.

Child Trafficking

So today I want to raise awareness about something heavy,
something I really care about...child trafficking.

While I was doing volunteer work in Southeast Asia 9 years ago, our team decided to pass through the red light district in hopes of sharing the love of Christ with some of the prostitutes. My heart broke as I saw the young women offer their bodies and their souls up in order to make a day's wages.

As we walked, we came across an unusual, large 5 story brothel that caught my eye. It was one of many in a long line of brothels with half naked women and transvestites standing out front. It had a heavy chain lock on the oversized double front door. As our group made small talk with a few of the girls, I couldn't help but stare at that one building. This one was different than all of the others, because every single window was boarded up. It was just like the scene from the movie "Taken." When I asked one of the prostitutes why that particular building was all boarded up, she regretfully told me there were young girls inside. I asked her why no one did anything, and if we should tell the police. She replied, "Oh honey, they are the ones that keep it going." I left in tears, absolutely horrified and it has stuck with me ever since.

Why this is coming up now, I don't know. It is something I have often thought of, but why not now? It is never too late to do something, it is never a bad time to raise awareness. The sad thing is, this type of thing happens everyday. And it is not just in Southeast Asia. It goes on in Europe, Australia, even America. In fact, at a woman's conference I attended in Malaysia I learned that American businessmen are the #1 supporters of child trafficking in Thailand, the trafficking hub of the world. This information was reinforced in my Woman's Studies class at Meredith College.

The problem is big. And almost too sad to talk about. But I want to talk about it. I felt so helpless that day. Today, I want to DO SOMETHING.

This is a cause I believe in. Check it out: www.sctnow.org Stop Child Trafficking Now focuses on putting predators behind bars.

Info from the SCTNOW website:

"Child Trafficking is the recruitment, smuggling, transporting, harboring, buying or selling of a child through force, threats, fraud, deception, or coercion for the purposes of exploitation, prostitution, pornography, migrant work, sweat shops, domestic servitude, forced labor, bondage, peonage or involuntary servitude.
Child trafficking is one of the fastest growing crimes in the world. UNIC
EF values the global market of child trafficking at over $12 billion a year with over 2 million child victims. Men, women and children are all victims but, the most vulnerable groups, those with limited rights or protections, have been the hardest hit… especially children.
Trafficking children into the sex industry is done because there is a demand. Predators seek out vulnerable victims and lure them under false pretenses into situations they cannot escape from. No matter the reason, children have become sexual commodities to be bought and sold for the pleasure of exploiters. These children are scarred for life and need help – our help.
Stop Child Trafficking Now believes strongly that to eliminate this heino
us crime the demand for children must end. That’s why SCTNow seeks to destroy the source. SCTNow believes that by putting predators behind bars we can Stop Child Trafficking Now."



Child Trafficking Statistics:

• 300,000 children in the U.S. are at risk every year for commercial sexual exploitation. -U.S. Department of Justice
• 600,000 – 800,000 people are bought and sold across international borders each year; 50% are children, most are female. The majority of these victims are forced into the commercial sex trade. – U.S. Department of State, 2004, Trafficking in Persons Report, Washington, D.C.
• An estimated 14,500 to 17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked into the United States each year. The number of U.S. citizens trafficked within the country is even higher, with an estimated 200,000 American children at risk for trafficking into the sex industry. – U.S Department of Justice Report to Congress from Attorney General John Ashcroft on U.S. Government Efforts to Combat Trafficking in Persons
• An estimated 2 million children, the majority of them girls, are sexually exploited in the multibillion dollar commercial sex industry – UNICEF
• Investigators and researchers estimate the average predator in the U.S. can make more than $200,000 a year off one young girl
• 
  
• "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matt. 18:16

America open your eyes...

How Blessed We Are

While I love fashion, and other forms of art, and enjoy writing about it, I also want this to be a blog about real life. Whatever that may consist of.

This is not some patriotic blog entry, but I just want to get real for a minute. Do you realize how blessed we are to live in this country? I have been in several third world nations, and even I tend to forget sometimes just how good I have it. Even after bandaging wounds in remote villages and working in an AIDS hospess in Cambodia, somehow I seem to get caught up in the glitz and glam of the American lifestyle. Especially around the holidays.... it seems that amidst the sparkle of Crabtree Valley Mall and the hustle and bustle of Glenwood Ave. at 5 pm, I still cannot help but think of all the people in need that have come across my path. It seems those hungry eyes and cold, shoe-less feet will stick with me forever. 

I mean lets face it. While most people are busy trying to keep up with the Jones's and others are trying to keep their budget for Christmas in a fallen economy, let's all keep one thing in mind. Even those of us who are not buying gifts this year are rich beyond measure compared to those who are without a roof over their head or food on their table.

I have a lot more to say about this, but I will post more later. This is enough to "chew" on for now.