Male Bashing - The Wrong Approach

To Be or Not to Be......a Feminist:

It is 2011. Most of the world would still consider myself, or any woman for that matter who is willing to write about women's issues, a "feminist" or a least call them a "strong woman". Do I consider myself a feminist? Perhaps....perhaps not. Well, not in the way that so many "feminists" are viewed in this day and age. Am I a "strong woman"? I would say so, if you consider strength to be standing up for the respect of women and raising awareness for women's issues. A "strong woman" to me, is anything but going along with the flow of what mainstream society confines women to be like and or look like.

A good number of Christian churches today would consider most vocal women to be "feminists". And quite a few, not all churches, would argue that "feminists" in general are usually disrespectful to men. Some traditional churches would even go as far as to say that women are "out of place" when they share their strong opinions regarding certain issues. Like Christianity, there are many other religions in the world that believe these things to be true as well. So where do we draw the line?


Whether the church is right or wrong, is not my point. It is unfortunate that most of the time women take the wrong approach to expressing themselves and their voice. Is it possible to voice a strong female opinion without loosing our femininity or even crossing over into degrading the male gender? What really is "our place" in church or in the world for that matter?  I have a lot to say about this topic, and will elaborate more on the church and women in another post.

The WRONG Approach:

While I may be vocal and passionate about global issues for women, it is important for you to know that I have an ultimate respect for men. Does this mean that I have always, in every situation "shown" respect for each man when I have felt disrespected by them in return? I wish I could say this was the case. I have learned, unfortunately in the past sometimes the hard way, and am still learning how to stand up for myself and other women in the right way.

It is never okay for women to undermine men in order to uplift women. The same goes for men who put down women in order to feel more powerful. This is exactly what we are talking about, however this blog is addressed to women. After all, in the end, we can only ever change ourselves. I will say it again. By no means should women undermine men in order to uplift women. It is sad that so many feminists "shoot themselves in the foot" by bashing men in attempts to establish respect for themselves. In the end, all feminists truly just want to have a respected voice, while sometimes they themselves tear down the male gender. Granted, I honestly can't think of a time that I have taken that extreme of an approach, I have been guilty of returning an attitude of disrespect for not being respected as a woman.

The RIGHT Approach:

Be strong ladies, but for Heaven's sake, do it with class. As I previously stated, it is important for women to stand up for themselves while showing men the honor and respect that they deserve as any human being deserves. This is especially difficult to do in the heat of the moment when you feel you are being undervalued, or degraded as women. We must remember that in order to get the results we want we must take the right approach. It is never right to return wrong for wrong.


What is the right approach? How do we practically live this out on a day-to-day basis? It is the same whether we are addressing our husbands, bosses, co-workers, fathers, brothers, and yes, even the man that walks by and yells out "Hey! Hot Mama!" Okay, so maybe there is a bit of a difference between our husbands and our brothers and certainly between our bosses and the man on the street, at least I hope so. The point here is that they all have one thing in common. They are all men.  All of them listen with male ears and think with male minds, so we must approach accordingly. If we can learn to address it in a way that they understand, we will be heard. I will post more on this later.

Issues, Not Rights:

In this blog I want to discuss issues that women come up against in everyday life. Notice I never say "women's rights" but rather address "women's issues". This is because I want to include so much more than just the "rights" of women. What are "rights" anyway? I believe every human being overall has the same rights, such as the right to be respected. This blog is more about controversial issues that are specific to girls/women, than about our "rights".

"Strong Men"

Men will never truly understand what it is like to be a woman. Likewise, we will never know what it is like to be a man. It is important for all of us to respect gender differences and understand them, in order to work with those differences. While I may not always agree with them on everything, I have an ultimate respect for the men in my life, and for men in general for that matter. I have the highest regards for men who are sensitive and understanding of what women often have to face in this world. In terms of strength, I think the strongest men are those who are not threatened by "strong women" but are rather secure in who they are as a man.

My husband is undoubtedly one of these types of "strong men", and I am deeply thankful that he provides a stable foundation and protective covering for me to be a "voice for the voiceless" and discuss women's issues. Not only does my husband support me and this blog, but he provides necessary insight and is a great resource to my writings.


"He created them male and female and he blessed them." Gen. 5:2